stories.

I haven't blogged in a while, so I'm cheating. Here's a fairy tale parody that I wrote with a friend about five years ago.


First upon a day, not too long ago, in a very close place, there was an ugly princess. She fell in love with an evil sorcerer. One day, Prince Charming kidnapped the princess and carried her off to a cottage right in the middle of the city. The evil sorcerer followed them to murder the princess. She escaped by jumping onto a short, fat pony and riding into a tree. Next to the tree was a beautiful frog. The ugly princess thought to herself, Maybe, if I just squeeze this frog, it will turn into a Prince! So she picked up the frog and squeezed it as hard as she could. The frog, which was in reality poisonous, burst open and splattered all over her. She began to get sick from the poison.

  

Meanwhile, the evil sorcerer and Prince Charming were still in search of the ugly princess. They became jealous and killed each other with their machine guns. And they all died happily ever after. 

The End

Now here's a superhero parody that we wrote.

Today was a peaceful, calm day in Havocsburg. Mr. Humphreys sat at his desk in his evil scientist lab, contemplating what to do about this unusual day. How would he save the city from being completely and totally ruined by peace?

     Well, as he sat there in his mad scientist lab, Mr. Smithens was giggling deceitfully.  His plan was working! The rowdy citizens of Havocsburg were finally becoming calm and subdued! No more of the ridiculous robberies and murders–no, now, people were giving each other anything the other wanted and keeping each other safe! See if Dragonflyman, also known as Mr. Humphreys, could get the city out of this mess!

     Mr. Smithens’ deceitful giggle was cut short when Dragonflyman burst right into his window with a bump! “Now, Cookieman!” he whispered, for that was Mr. Smithens’ bad-ish-guy name. “What have I told you? You are not supposed to cause me to work!”

     “I-I-I c-can do wha-what-t-tever I-I-I w-w-want,” Cookieman stammered loudly from on top of his desk, trying desperately to look like the bad-ish-guy that he was.

     “No you can not!!” thundered Drag–onflyman casually, while filing his nails. “And look what you’ve caused me to do!”

     After Cookieman knew what was happening, Dragonflyman dove out the window to help save a quite energetic young boy. He was throwing away a piece of trash, and Dragonflyman was furious! “No, no, boy!” he said, snatching the trash out of the boy’s hand. “This is how you do it!” Then he lit it on fire and tossed it on top of the National Havocsburg Grass Reservation Park, causing the entire ten-foot-square lot to catch fire.

     “Remember, kid, with stinky trash comes stinky responsibility.”       

     But Cookieman was quite good at sweet-talking people to do what he wanted them to do, and he ordered them to put the fire out. The National Havocsburg Grass Reservation Park was saved, but to what ends?

     “I’ll save this town, yet!” laughed Dragonflyman, waving and smiling to the citizens. “Just you wait and see, Cookieman! This peace will not last!”

     And he flew away from Havocsburg, crashing into small houses as he went.  

Yeah middle school!